INDONESIA - DAY TWENTY THREE
JUNE 7, 2024
WOW! The depth of beauty, love, kindness, acceptance and most importantly gratitude that I feel surrounded with ending our week here together is immense. Almost immeasurable. And I recognize that I used many adjectives just now to describe how I feel at the end of this week, but it truly is so BIG that it feels like I want all kinds of amazing words to help me describe it.
Last fall, I received an email from Wendy at the Center for Somatic Grieving regarding a retreat in June 2024. I assumed it was one of her Maui retreats and I was ready so I filled out the form, paid my money and clicked “submit.” The next day upon further review I realized I was going to BALI, not MAUI! “OK,” I said, “this is doable.” As 2024 approached and the new year came and went, this retreat became necessary. My body knew it had to come to Bali and experience the healing and love that takes place here. After all, it was aligned with the fact that my son was supposed to be in Indonesia this spring on a gap year semester and then my daughter was graduating from college and desired some kind of big world, far-off land to travel to post graduation. It was in the stars that this trip was happening.
I consulted my well-traveled cousin for ideas and he brought the Ultimate Travel Company to my inbox.
I started the morning doing some cardio with a walk/run out of the solace of the fabulous Soulshine resort and ventured through the streets near the resort. I have been afraid to run because a) I haven’t since May 5th and b) my right knee has been hurting. Running was my connection to myself and my way back home and as I have aged I have realized I need to do other, more purposeful movements such as weight training and less pound on my knees. However, I love to run and hike so I do these other things both to bring more muscle mass to an aged body, but because running and hiking fuel me. It is what I did everyday during covid up in Granby, CO and it kept me sane. This little venture out on this morning reminded me of this and also was a win for me because my knee did not hurt and I was indeed, able to run.
Happy Girl Post Run!!!
The rain here felt different. I love rain. Was it that the rain felt different or that I did? I felt some amount of fear creep in, which is unusual for me who would normally rush to every window in the house to open so I could hear the rain fall onto the earth. Fear of the unknown was surely what this was about and I didn’t “know” the rain in this far away place. And tomorrow I was setting about on a solo adventure to a new island in Indonesia. I have always loved my aloneness; being alone, being an only child. Growing up it was often just me and the adults in my life; my mom, step-dad, my aunts or my grandparents. I was used to being alone and I never got bored. I still don’t. As long as I have a book and some water I am good.
Alone feels different and since 2019 really, really scary.
I’m not going to dive into the intricacies of “my” alone situation, but let’s just say it’s not what I want.
SO, here I am - alone and also very much NOT alone because I have new members in my sisters tribe. This tribe is magnificent. The women in this tribe in “MY” tribe are warriors, goddesses, badasses and LOVE. And the Bali sisters are no exception and I will take them with me on the next part of my journey to help remind me that - I got this.
My angels are there as well. Always.
I am going to share some pictures of the day as this day was for me and us in Bali and that memory is within us.
